The Love of My Life

Some experiences, meetings, when they happen, feel like as if they are meant to be, imprinted onto our future by the remote and unseen hands of fate and fortune. Even in hindsight it seems that nothing short of a major life-changing move could have prevented them, and thus such confrontations have an aura of destiny about them, its like as if you are drawn towards these encounters, pulled along by an invisible string in the hands of an unseen puppet-master. It seems as if there is no way out, no future without them, without gaining or losing whatever that these showdowns gift to you, or steal away from you. And it was amid this atmosphere of premonition that i first saw her.


It was love at first sight. i stood enthralled by her looks, that elegant neck, curving figure... and as i recognised the heady feeling of destiny, i knew we were meant to be. Her voice sang to me as irresistible as a sirens song, pulling me closer to her, till i was beyond the point of no return. As thus i was introduced to my first true love. My life suddenly underwent numerous dramatic changes, and all for the better. It was as if she was making me a better person, slowly exposing me to new facets of my self that i never knew existed. As she sang for me, sang with me, i suddenly stood exposed to a new appreciation of music that i had never felt before, it was like as if i was a child who has only seen small ponds and lakes all his life, and was suddenly exposed to the wondrous vastness of an ocean. I was completely enraptured by the beauty and seemingly never ending scope of music. Each day i learn something new, discover a new song, a new artiste, a new genre or just something new of an old song, some hidden melody or beat that suddenly made the song seem so different so new, as if i'm listening to it for the first time.

She has introduced me to all of this and even more, she has made me re-explore myself.. discover sides of my personality and talents i never suspected. So i know i'll no matter what happens to me, i'll never forget her.

Who is she, this mystery female?.. Well... MY GUITAR!!!     ;-)

:-D :-D

 

Puzzle Too Hard To Crack

Some things are really hard to understand, and despite repeated attempts to figure them out, I at least haven't had any success in understanding these topics any better. And amongst THOSE the ones which confuse me the most concern the matters of the heart.

Yeah i know that this sounds pretty stupid and cliched, but then as i also present a case in this field, its hard not to think about these matters. Now. The girl involved in this case is undoubtedly attractive, she's got a nice and pleasant personality (with an air of innocence about her), smart, intelligent, and of course... beautiful (at least as per me.. i don't know what others might say, neither do i care). So its no surprise that i felt attracted towards her.

However, while i think about her quite a bit when I'm alone, and of course we chat a lot while walking together, on topics ranging from serious to that of normal chats between friends to even those bordering on the silly and absurd, but that's not always the case, and when these pauses in conversation come, they usually turn out to be awkward, and since she does most of the talking (thanks to me being the think-more, talk-less kind), its usually up to me to continue the conversation... and i fail abysmally.

At times, there comes a moment in this pause, when its like the best time to let her know how i feel, but every time i let them slip away, telling myself that its only a crush and that if i screw this up I'll probably cause a rift in our friendship, which i really really don't want. After all I'd rather be close to her and not be able to touch her, than be far away and still not be able to do so.

But suddenly there comes this time when we're separated by a distance that makes it unfeasible to text or chat via phone as often as I'd like. And now I've started thinking about her more often than ever. And now suddenly labeling these feelings as a mere crush, seems to be a massive understatement.

And now I'm confused, when close to her, I can't even make simple polite conversation, leaving her to do most of the talking. Yet when far from her, i think about her so often, dreaming of her pretty face and those beautiful eyes, writing out songs and poems dedicated to her, even discovering old compositions which finally have found someone to be dedicated to.

So caught in the trap i don't know what to do. If i let it out, there's a risk of screwing up our friendship, of moving her away from me, and if i don't, then the tension of wanting to let it out, yet still keeping it in, will keep pestering me, keeping me trapped in this quagmire of doubts. My only hope/wish whatever you may want to call it, is if she gives me a hint as to if she may feel the same way for me. Without that, this little part of my life is like a puzzle too hard for me to crack.

....I hope she reads this  (article and poem..... both)

I keep dreaming about you,

Its like you're always on my mind

And every time that I'm alone

Your face comes up before my eyes.

And once again i remember,

Your beautiful smile,

And how your eyes,

Seem so alive,

And as you move,

With heavenly grace,

While the sun shines down,

On your smiling face.

And as I watch the sun's fading light,

I wish that you were by my side,

And I'd tell how I feel tonight,

If you only i knew that you,

Might feel the same way for me.

Up in the air (no its not about the movie)

A light mist lay over the ground, and as the early morning sun peeked above the horizon, the entire airport lay swathed in a golden glow, it may be hard to believe that an organised jungle concrete and metal might ever be considered beautiful (though it might be considered awesome), under the shroud of that golden blanket, it did in fact present a sight so beautiful, i began to wish that i had camera with me (its a different matter that its lens won't work).

As the aircraft lifted off, i caught sight of the city covered in mist, whose thickness seemed to increase closer to the horizon, till it was but a gold-tinged plain at the horizon. It was as if the entire city was wishing me a happy and safe journey.... or maybe it was just glad to be rid of me, but that's beside the point.

And so i began my journey, greeted by such beauty, and fully expecting nothing else of any note to come into my sight, i proceeded to start reading my book, hoping to avert boredom by engrossing myself in it, but one glance out of the window put an end to that. As my eyes turned towards the sky flying by, they were greeted by a expanse of white below us, so close below and so tightly packed, that it felt as if we were moving along another level of land, albeit a very white one, dotted by various cloudy skyscrapers reaching up to the next layer of clouds above.

The view had me so mesmerised by the vivid colours that i almost forgot to respond when the air-hostesses came around to serve breakfast (in fact, now that i think of it, they had probably  called me twice or thrice before i responded).


So after this experience, i guess that despite the increasing risk of flying, if you can get a view like that every time you fly, its worth taking that risk.

Rolling (across) Stones

Clomp-clomp-clomp-THUD! That's currently the most common sound outside my house after 6:30pm. If you're wondering, and the curious obviously will wonder, what that noise is... well its the sound of me 'trying' to walk around in my new in-line skates.

If you're wondering why i got them, well a friend of mine is very fond of skating, and in the evening when we go for our 'walk', she would be in skates, and i would be walking/jogging, or even sprinting some distance. As anyone could notice, this wasn't a fair arrangement, after all one of us is always at a disadvantage (in case of a race, she's the disadvantaged one, but in the long run i guess its me), so to even things out i decided to get a pair of skates.

Which also has the advantage of giving me an extra hobby to pursue, other than playing the guitar, writing songs or articles or reading a novel. Of course obtaining the skates wasn't an easy task, both in terms of locating them and paying for them (but Dad did so anyway, so thanks dad). But now at last the skates are here in my possession.And at the end of the day, as the sound of skates thumping and scraping against gravel and stones plays over and over again in my mind, and i look down upon my bruised and battered hands, I guess it was a worthwhile investment.